Two to Tango
by tarajcl
Summary: Songfic set in Armada. Never fall in love with a prostitute...or a traitor.


Eh, make of it what you will. Testing out the whole love-triangle idea. It's weird, it's angst-ish, it's got dancing giant robots. It's a parody-type-a-thing to 'Roxanne' of Moulin Rouge. No plot whatsoever, little sense, it'll probably fit inta one o' my fics somewhere along the line… plus, Cyclonus as the Narcoleptic Argentinean! That's gotta be worth something.

(I don't know how Cyclonus learned about brothels, I don't even know where he learned to sing. Nor am I aware of exactly why both factions are gathered conveniently together, or why there is heavy energon in the vicinity. Just be thankful I didn't include absinthe or the Green Fairy in here someplace…

Sense? You people expect me to make _sense_?! Excuse me while I cackle.)

Hey…random note…remember that episode 'Rebellion', where Starscream gets ticked off with Megs? Remember how he started seeing imaginary Megatrons everywhere?

… Did that freak anyone else out? :)

Two to Tango

(The scene: The Autobot base. The Autobots, Minicons and Decepticons slouch against the walls or sit on the floors holding energon cubes. Several are receiving minor repairs. The atmosphere is one of tension mixed with boredom, as all transformers present wait for something to happen. In the corner, there is a platform with several stacked cubes of heavy energon.)

(Jetfire stands with his arms crossed on the bridge that traverses the large room, about fifty feet from the ground. He is obviously angry, which may have something to do with the fact that Megatron is in the room. Cyclonus stands on the other side of the bridge, appearing to be examining his guns in boredom.)

(Hoist sighs listlessly as he loses yet another game of cards to Swindle and Skyscan. Demolisher watches with mild interest.)

(On the opposite sides of the room, Megatron and Starscream watch each other from out the corners of their optics. Starscream is in his Cybertronian form, for some reason. The wings are shorter, the cannons are gone, the rest is much the same.)

(Cyclonus, who has been staring at Jetfire for a while now, saunters across the bridge towards him.)

CYCLONUS: (mocking) Aw, what's wrong, eh? Is the little Autobot kinda _jealous_? Wonder why…

(Down below, Megatron and Starscream have gotten into a ferocious glaring contest, neither willing to back down.)

JETFIRE: (angry) Get lost, Cyclonus. What would you know, anyway?

(Cyclonus smirk fades away as he looks at the shuttle, before casually walking up to him. Jetfire looks down at Cyclonus and glares at him before looking away. Cyclonus makes a 'tsk' noise and shakes his head.)

CYCLONUS: Little advice for ya, Autobot…

(To the Autobot's surprise, he grabs hold of Jetfire's arm and drags him up against his face.)

CYCLONUS: (hissing) _Never_ fall in love with a mech who switches factions, it _always_ ends **BAD!**

(The shout catches everyone's attention, and they look up at the Second-In-Command and the psychopath. This said, he releases Jetfire's arm leaps off the bridge and lands on his feet. Decepticons and Autobots watch him with interest.)

(Unnoticed, Starscream turns and starts to walk toward the door. Megatron looks surprised, and then angry, storming towards the heavy energon and muttering to himself. Jetfire looks on at them in silence.)

(All others are still and wait in nervous anticipation.)

CYCLONUS: We have a dance in the brothels of Cybertron.

(A spotlight comes on in the centre of the floor from above. Startled, the Autobots look up to see Crumplezone, grinning and training the light on his master. Cyclonus grins in approval and gives a disturbing chuckle.)

CYCLONUS: It tells the story…

(A violin, that will later be found to be played by Black Out, strikes up a mournful note. Jetfire stares down at Cyclonus with narrowed optics. Cyclonus walks along the floor as Jetfire walks parallel to him along the bridge.)

CYCLONUS: …_of a prostitute!_

(A red spotlight slams on Starscream, who is halfway to the door. He stops and turns to glare coldly at Cyclonus, dark shadows falling under his optics. Across the room, Megatron's head snaps away from the energon cube in his hand and his gaze falls upon the seeker.)

(Nervous laughter is heard from Hot Shot and Hoist, whilst the rest wisely keep quiet.)

CYCLONUS: And a man…

(Megatron throws energon cube away and wipes traces from his mouth. To the surprise of all, he begins to stride slowly, rhythmically to the centre of the room, not taking his optics from Starscream. He stands and stares at the seeker, arms at his side.)

CYCLONUS: …who falls in love…

(Starscream looks back at him, before stepping out onto the floor. He comes to stand ten paces from the Decepticon Leader, both in spotlight as the room darkens.)

(Cyclonus smiles viciously.)

CYCLONUS: …with her.

(The violin holds a quavering note, as Megatron and Starscream gaze at one another like predators. Jetfire and the others watch them, enrapt, as an unseen orchestra strikes up as tango.)

(Megatron steps left as Starscream corresponds and steps right, both in time with the music, both still watching one another. They continue to dance around each other, gradually drawing closer together as the tango unwinds.)

CYCLONUS: _First_, there is desire.

(Optimus Prime slowly gets up from the sidelines, watching the two dancers draw closer together, not quite touching.)

CYCLONUS: Then, passion.

(Megatron snatches Starscream's hand and spins him, yanking him in. Optimus steps closer, before appearing perpendicular to Megatron and offering his hand. Starscream smiles coldly, spins from Megatron's grip and takes it.)

(Megatron's optics widen in shock.)

CYCLONUS: Then, _suspicion_…

(Optimus and Starscream circle each other, still holding hands. Megatron appears as Optimus did and takes hold of Starscream's arm, fluidly pulling him from the Autobot leader to fall back into his arms.)

(Optimus reaches forward and pulls Starscream back. The seeker performs a quick tango with Optimus whilst Megatron watches.)

CYCLONUS: …anger, _jealousy_…

(Starscream leaves Optimus and is taken up by Megatron again, resuming the tango, now moving twice as fast. Their movements are heard as a series of sharp cracks as the metal of their feet connects with the floor. Eventually both partners break away from each other, freezing in place.)

CYCLONUS: …betrayal.

(Megatron and Starscream come together again and resume dancing, all the time moving faster.)

(Jetfire looks on.)

CYCLONUS: When love is for the highest bidder, there can be no trust. Without trust, there is _no love_.

(Starscream dances on with Megatron, his expression clearly daring the darker Decepticon to move faster. Megatron obliges, before unexpectedly passing the seeker back to Optimus.)

(Jetfire's fists clench.)

CYCLONUS: Jealousy, yesss, jealousy…

(Starscream moves back to Megatron.)

(Cyclonus, now standing in a private spotlight on the sidelines, looks up at Jetfire.)

CYCLONUS: …will drive you…

(Rapid montage shots, switching from Jetfire's face to Megatron's.)

(Starscream spins between Optimus and Megatron, before collapsing into Megatron's grip once more.)

CYCLONUS: …**_mad!_**_ Roxanne!_

(A sharp 'crack' resounds as Starscream and Megatron freeze in place.)

(Away from the other three, Wheeljack walks onto the floor.)

CYCLONUS: _You don't have to put on that red light…_

(Starscream draws away from Megatron and Optimus, slowly walking in time with the music across the dance floor with his back to the two leaders, followed by the red spotlight.)

(Cyclonus watches him, a cold sneer on his face.)

CYCLONUS: _Walk the streets for money,_

_You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right…_

(Starscream snaps around to face his awaiting dance partners.)

(Across the room, Hot Shot stands up.)

CYCLONUS: _Roxanne_!

_You don't have to wear that dress tonight…_

(Close-up of Jetfire's optics.)

CYCLONUS: _Roxanne!_

(Starscream moves to dance with Optimus but at the last second turns to face Megatron.)

CYCLONUS: _You don't have to sell your body to the night._

(Jetfire starts to walk slowly across the bridge, watching Starscream as he is lead by Megatron.)

JETFIRE: _His eyes, upon your face…_

(Shot of Megatron and Starscream, taking centre stage once more as they dance. Neither is quite glaring.)

JETFIRE: _His hand, upon your hand…_

(Megatron slips his hand over Starscream's, raising it upwards to spin him.)

JETFIRE: _His lips caress your skin…_

_It's more than I can stand!_

(Megatron pulls Starscream back, closer this time. Their feet continue moving them across the floor.)

(Wheeljack glares at Hot Shot and holds out his hand. The yellow Autobot looks startled, before taking it.)

CYCLONUS: _Roxanne!_

JETFIRE: _Why does my heart cry…_

CYCLONUS: _Roxanne!_

(All Autobots and Decepticons move onto the floor, most moving in circles around on another before switching to a different partner.)

(Close-up of Starscream's optics.)

(Close-up of Megatron's optics.)

JETFIRE: _Feelings I can't fight,_

_You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me…_

(All couples on the floor dip their partners.)

JETFIRE: _And please, believe me when I say…_

(Megatron and Starscream's faces almost brush together.)

JETFIRE: …I love you.

(Cyclonus looks across the floor to Red Alert, the only one left unpartnered. He thinks, and then walks up to the medic, holding out his hand with a horrible grin.)

CYCLONUS: Wanna dance, ambulance-boy?

(Red Alert looks startled, not doing anything. This is mainly because he has no idea what to do. Cyclonus's grin turns into a hurt glare. He drops his arm to his side and starts circling the Autobot slowly, keeping in time with the music.)

(Music starts up again, even louder and more violent.)

MEGATRON: (thinking) _Roxanne!_

STARSCREAM: (thinking) _Why__ does my heart cry…_

(Cyclonus strides around Red Alert vulture-like.)

CYCLONUS: _You don't have to put on that red light,_

_Roxanne!_

JETFIRE: _Feelings I can't fight!_

(All spin and dip as the tango becomes yet faster.)

CYCLONUS: _You don't have to do your hair tonight_

(Optimus takes Starscream once more, and the seeker flashes between partners in a blur.)

JETFIRE: _You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me _

_And please, believe me when I say,_

_I love you…_

(Starscream freezes mid-tango, spinning away from both mechs and catching sight of Jetfire, hidden half-in shadow in the corner of the room. Optimus and Megatron look on in confusion.)

(The music becomes quieter, slowing almost to a halt.)

(Cyclonus stops, standing directly in front of Red Alert. The grin is gone, the glare is gone. He looks almost desperate.)

(Jetfire also freezes, staring directly into Starscream's optics.)

STARSCREAM: (softly) _Come__ what may…_

_I will love you 'til my dying day…_

(Jetfire's jaw sags. Starscream turns back to look at Optimus and Megatron, both regarding him with confusion and irritation as the others dance slowly behind them.)

(Across the room, Red Alert regards Cyclonus silently as they stand upon the floor.)

(All others turn to watch.)

(Starscream moves from the left to the right, wavering between Optimus and Megatron.)

(Red Alert tries to decide whether or not to go back to the sidelines.)

(Finally, Megatron seizes Starscream's hand and drags him back into the dance as Red Alert willingly takes Cyclonus's hand.)

(The music resumes its previous speed, now louder and more violent than before.)

CYCLONUS: (screaming as he spins Red Alert) **_Roxanne!_**

(Jetfire hides back on the sidelines, unaware that he is in a faint, white spotlight of his own.)

JETFIRE: **_Why does my heart cry…_**

RED ALERT: _Feelings I can't fight…_

(The tango intensifies, with the red spotlight now flickering alternately between Cyclonus and Red Alert and Starscream and Megatron.)

MEGATRON: (thinking) **_Why_****_ does my heart cry…_**

CYCLONUS: _You don't have to put on that red light_

JETFIRE: **_Roxanne!_**__

STARSCREAM: _You don't have to wear that dress tonight,_

_Roxanne…_

JETFIRE: _Why does my heart cry…_

CYCLONUS: **_Roxanne!_**__

MEGATRON: _Feelings I can't hide…_

(He and Starscream perform one final spin.)

CYCLONUS: **_ROXANNE!_**

(All four dancers freeze in silhouette as the lights flash out and the base falls into darkness.)


End file.
